Self-Compassion

Dear Brave Ones, Are you fighting with parts of yourself on the page? Or before you get to the page, are there parts of you that keep you from sitting down to write or make art? Has our culture given you the gift of Resistance? Judgment? Fear? Is it hard to dive in? Does your creative pool feel too cold, too still to disturb or too dangerous?

I'm teaching a 90 min class for the Alliance for Jewish Theatres that members (free) or non-members ($10) can join on Sunday 5/15/22 at 7pm ET called Strengthening Your Artistic Voice. We will deal with confronting and melting this fear and warming up that creative pool of yours. https://alljewishtheatre.org/

But these are things I do with everyone in Brave Space all the time. So if you can't be there 5/15, come to Brave Space and ask me for some support. Just send me an email.

"Yeah, right," you say. Okay, here is a second step toward helping yourself manage the diving in. (Remember, the first step is setting a timer for a very short session.) Self-compassion is the second step. Because it's hard to set the timer; the reason you avoid your desk is fear. I have this fear too. I used to have this fear all the time. Since I've been working with it, it has receded. But fear can come back any time I'm charting new territory or reaching into myself for something deep. Why wouldn't there be fear in the dark, unknown waters of my interior? But that's where I want to go to find my most authentic expression.

So self-compassion. Because we creatives are suffering. Because we are pulled into a process of trying to understand a question we may not even be aware of having asked. Because we know we have something to say that we're not saying, that we're pushing aside, and that negation hurts. That refusal to look hurts. It might even hurt more than actually looking.

Self-compassion softens the fear by acknowledging our suffering. Developing a practice of offering one's self compassion strengthens the heart, and the heart is the seat of our courage. Courage, the word, means heart. Hence Brave Space.

Self-compassion is a skill that can be strengthened. There are many ways to work to develop more compassion for one's self. Here are a few places to learn different methods: https://www.mindful.org/how-to-be-more-compassionate-a-mindful-guide-to-compassion/

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23406/10-easy-ways-to-cultivate-compassion.html

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mental-health/4-ways-to-boost-your-self-compassion

But the easiest way I know is to allow yourself to notice when you are suffering. Put your hand on your heart, and say, I'm suffering. (You don't have to say it aloud.) Then breathe in mindfully with compassion and breathe out mindfully releasing the suffering.

Breathe in: sending myself compassion or may I be happy or may I be healthy and whole, or whatever wish you have for yourself, may I calm down. And breathe out the suffering - I often use the phrase "letting go." Or try a practice called Metta (easy to google).

This has truly changed how I live with myself and how I approach my desk or my notebook to create.

If you find it difficult to offer yourself compassion, imagine yourself as a child. We can all easily offer compassion to people in the Ukraine - they are far away and their suffering is clear. But we compare ourselves to that and suffering seems incongruous, but it's not. It's vital that we find compassion for ourselves in order to do the work we know we're here to do.

with love and compassion,

Emma